An Outside-of-Your-Body Experience

This blog won't be as kooky as it sounds. Go with me here ...

I have a friend who is pregnant and will have her first born baby in March. I was asking her to pray for me about some parenting issues, and she mentioned that the parenting thing was going to be difficult and keep her on her knees in prayer.

That is oh so true, isn't it moms and dads?

From the time your baby first makes his presence known in your womb, the worries begin. And for some of us, the worries begin before that baby ever gets there. But when you find out for sure you are pregnant, oh, mercy. Am I eating right? Was that thing I did to hard on the baby? Should I blast classical music into my womb? And a million more worries.

And then, when that baby gets here, you realize that in your whole life, you have never worried like this before. I mean, it's the first time that you ARE IT. YOU are responsible for that baby. There is no one to fall back on, except maybe the spouse. You are lucky to have friend and family support, but you are the mom or the dad, and you will always be.

You hear every sniff, cough, whimper, nestle, nudge and cry those first nights. It is enough to drive a sane well-rested person crazy. But when you are already so worried AND sleep deprived, well, May the Force Be With You. Or in my case, may My Lord Be With Me.

And you think you couldn't worry more, and then you drop off your child with someone other than you for the first time. And then you leave! How will your baby survive without you? The mystery continues, but babies do!

Here I am with a 5 year old and a 7 year old, and the worries haven't stopped, they are just new. You start to see your kiddos worry or be too hard on themselves, or you see them starting to slide down the wrong path or hang out with the wrong crowd. And now, you are sending them to school 5 days a week without you. And you have no control over their environment. It is terrifying.

The only thing that brings me comfort at this point is God. I know He is in control of my little bubble. But more than that, He is in control of my boys' little bubbles. The best I can do is make good decisions for them when I can, teach them to make good decisions for themselves, teach them about God's control and His love for them, and the pray. They have to grow up ... don't they?

I have a friend who is probably right now seeing her 19-year-old son for the first time in months. He went to Army boot camp in Georgia. When I talked to her last night, she was absolutely giddy knowing she would see him so soon. She has been absolutely tormented with not hearing from him and worrying about him.

So what this tells me is the worries don't stop, they just change. And I am ok with that. When I signed up to be a parent, a dear friend told me the best way she could describe parenthood was like wearing your heart on the outside of your body.

She was right.