Am I Willing?

I have accepted the challenge through a local church to read the New Testament in 40 days. I was hesitant to do this at first because of how ridiculously busy April is in my little world. However, God has reminded me more than once that for me, being busy distracts me from spending time with Him, so I agreed.

Today was the second day of our reading, and we read a few chapters in one of the Gospels, the book of Luke. Out of all that I read today, something I read today (and have read before) has stayed with me all day. I keep turning the words over and over in my hear. In Luke 5:12-13, it says, "While Jesus was in one of the towns, a man came along who was covered with leprosy. When he saw Jesus, he fell with his face to the ground and begged him, 'Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.' Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. 'I am willing,' he said. 'Be clean!' And immediately the leprosy left him."

The first thing that impressed me was that a man with leprosy was bold enough to approach Jesus and ask for his help. People with leprosy were ostracized from their communities. They lived either alone or with other people with the same condition until the died a painful death. There was no cure. But this man, who had been cast away from his peers because of his medical condition, was brave enough to seek out Jesus and asked him to heal him.

What impressed me far more was Jesus response: "I am willing." I am willing.

That phrase has played over and over in my head today. I am willing. And I know that He is willing to help me with my needs, too. The knowing isn't the issue for me. It is the releasing of my needs to Him that is hard for me.

I can almost imagine Christ looking at me when I am in anguish over something, reaching out his hand, touching my shoulder and saying, "Michelle, I am willing to help you." I feel sure that if I saw Jesus in front of me I would let Him help me with anything and everything. We don't have that opportunity today. We have to trust in the unseen and believe that Jesus will help us.

There are so many things in my life to worry about right now. My family, my school, graduating, finding a job for next year, the kids I am working with at the schools where I am interning... and those are just the legitimate worries I have. There is a whole slate of pointless worries I struggle with.

However, the whole time I am worrying, there has been a soft voice whispering to me, "Michelle, I am willing to help you." I have held tight my grip to all that I need to let go.

So I guess the real question for me isn't, "Lord, are you willing to help me?" I know the answer to that question. The real question is, "Am I willing to let Jesus help me?"

Are you willing?