Cleaning the Backyard

So I have this thought that I have been mulling over in my head for a few years now. Let me pose the question to you: Which is more important to keep clean and manicured, your front yard or your backyard?

Seems like a cheesy question. And I know there are debates on both sides, but God has made me think about it deeper and in a more meaningful way.

We have lived in our house nearly 3 years now. We have a big backyard with a fort and lots of room for the kids to play. Our front yard is also quite large. We live on a corner that backs up to a busy roadway, so we are also responsible for a long side yard and the grass behind our house between the fence and the street. We do a lot of mowing, edging, weed eating and grooming of our lawn.

So here is the dilemma ... if you have time to only mow and manicure the front or the back, which do you mow? Which does it matter more looks nice, the front or the back? Which comes first?

Argument for the front: People are driving by seeing our front yard all the time everyday. It is important to keep it looking nice so our neighbors are happy, so people don't think we are junky and that we take care of our home.

Argument for the back: Although no one driving by will see the back, we spend most of our time back there. The kids play in the back every day and the grass needs to be cut, the dog poop needs to be picked up, the trash needs to be thrown away so they can have nice clean area to play in.

It's a little bit like the life I am living. I am 34 years old and went out without make up for the first time in my adult life on my birthday this year. That is a little sad. I have been worrying about my appearance. Is my hair cute? Is my make up on? Are my clothes nice? Am I presentable to people I might run into or even to strangers? When I go to the store, what classification will I be given by strangers based on my appearance?

To this end, I am obsessed with my hairstyle. A major treat for myself is a pedicure. I try to wear nice clothes. I get my eyebrows waxed, although not often enough. I worry about my weight. I care about fashion and trends. I care about what I am projecting to others.

Lately, I have cared a lot more about my outer appearance than my spiritual well being. I have focused on the outside and neglected the inside. Sort of like caring about what your front yard look like but letting the back yard get overgrown with weeds, trash and junk.

All this came to the forefront this past weekend as I spent hours with my family cleaning our back yard. The puppy had shredded toys everywhere, the kids had thrown their trash everywhere but the trash can. Broken toys littered the yard. The grass had grown high. Two dogs had pooped all over the backyard. Broken branches and tree limbs were strewn about.

As I cleaned the yard, I thought about cleaning up myself, my inside, my emotional and spiritual health. I can put on a happy face on the exterior that everyone sees. I can fix my hair and make up, I can have a tan, I can wear cute clothes, but what does it really matter if my heart is cluttered?

I am making the choice today to focus more on the backyard. I will spend more time in prayer and studying the Bible. I will spend more time writing. I will focus on my health, both mental, emotional, spiritual and physical. I will tend to the "backyard" first for a while. I think in my world it's what matters most.