Wednesday, August 19, 2009

The Last Day of Summer


I am cranky today.

It might be because I have no soda, bread, milk or eggs in my house. It might be because I just dropped the hair dryer on my bare foot. It might be because there was some weeping and gnashing of teeth as we got ready this morning. It might be because my kids cried and whined when had them clean up in the living room, bedroom and play room. It might be because I haven't had caffeine yet.

But it's not. I am cranky because today is the last day of summer.

Where did it go? I mean, seriously. I feel like school was out just last week and I was looking forward to all the fun things I was going to do with my kids.

Summer to me means non-stop time with my boys. And while this can be stressful and I do need a break, really this is the best. There were moments when I was ready for school to start. But, truth be told, I am not ready.

I am missing them already.

Ryan will be in second grade this year. He got a great teacher and is going to have a great year. He will turn 8 in October and I cannot believe it! He is so tall and so smart and so hysterical. He is a good balance for me. He says things to me like, when I was trying to memorize my license plate number, "You know mom, there's and easier way to do this. You could just write it down." I knew he was right, but it's not my style. I sure am a lucky mom to have him help me.

Will just turned 5 and is going into pre-k. We know and already love his teacher. He already walks into the school like he owns it. He couldn't be more excited to start school like a big boy. And he is a big boy. And he is my baby, always will be. How did this happen? How did my baby get big enough to go to school? Will keeps me laughing hysterically all the time. And even though he is in school half days, life will change for him. He will be making new friends, learning new things and generally growing up.

Man, am I going to miss the summer. I will miss the way I would wake up to little boys snuggling up against me and lying there for a while just to enjoy it. I will miss going to Frontier City or the zoo or the pool just because we can. I will miss swimming almost every day and watching the boys grow gills.

I am going to miss late nights, late mornings, park lunches, playing outside from dawn til dusk. I am going to miss not having to run here and there, to games and practices and lessons.

Mostly I am going to miss time with my kids. It seems like when Ryan gets home from school he has homework and then of course he wants to play outside. Then there is dinner and sometimes a sports practice and sometimes more homework or reading or something to swallow up our time.

I am going to miss not knowing what their days were like from first-hand experience. And you know they aren't going to tell me. "They forgot" or "nothing happened" or are too interested in other things to repeat it all to me.

I am leaving them at this big school where kids out number the adults at least 20-1 and will be praying that everything goes ok.

I am cranky because summer ends today. And even though we are all excited about starting another year, I am mourning the loss of the summer of 09.